As a Christian Single, I #DateDifferently

 

Two conversations with two different friends – one a man, the other a woman – held at two different times but were about the same topic. They both wanted to talk to me (of all people) about dating and the future and singlehood and the one and “How will we know?”

My answer was the same to all of the questions. “I have no clue.” In one case, I may have gotten even a little nervous and jumpy and asked, “Wait…what? You want to ask me my thoughts on dating? Really? Are you sure?”

Part of the reason I become uncomfortable talking about dating is I look at it completely differently than I did in the past. In total transparency, I look at it completely differently than a lot of my friends. My Christian friends.

It’s hard to navigate the world of dating in our over-sexualized, want-it-now, digital society.

When I become transparent about my thoughts on dating and think about the mistakes I’ve made in the past when it comes to dating, I realize that many of the single people I know are approaching dating through the societal lenses colored by movies and fairy tales.

In order for us to get different results, we have to have a different approach. Different actions require different thoughts.

Even when it feels like everyone we know is sleeping together, doing everything but sleeping together, living together, Netflix and chilling, and hooking up because it’s cuffing season. Continue reading

What I’ve Learned From Getting Dumped

Last month, for the first time ever in the history of having a cell phone,  I blocked someone. The person was not harassing me or stalking me, and we didn’t have a big argument. We weren’t really even friends. Acquaintances maybe, but even that’s a stretch. We also didn’t talk really frequently, which is why I never thought to block him before.

I blocked him because his narcissistic personality is not something I want in my circle of influence.

You see, once upon a time we were close. We were really good friends. We became involved romantically, and we talked about spending the rest of our lives together. Until the relationship ended abruptly.

Because he dumped me.  Continue reading

About that #SocialExperiment

10433128_10153101054218117_2183159325676118237_nIf we are connected on social media, it’s very possible that you may have heard about a #socialexperiment that I am participating in. It’s a little different. And seeing as how I have never participated in a social experiment of any kind before, it does take me a little bit out of my comfort zone. But you know, it’s a new year…so why not?

Shortly after New Year’s Day, my friend Cheryl asked me about my dating life. My response wasn’t that positive — I think my answer may have been “it’s non-existent” and her wheels got to turning. And since she has about five other really good friends and family members who answered that same question the same way, she got busy.

Using the premise of “Six Degrees of Separation,” Cheryl believes that my next date is six degrees from her. Now, she really does know a lot of people, and the people she knows also know a lot of people, and based on that theory, she is convinced she can find us single gals a connection.

Her premise is that in this day and age of social media, it should really easy for like-minded single women and single-men to connect. And when I think about it, that sounds pretty good. And when I joined the group, I committed to blogging about my experience — without completely divulging all the details of my adventures.

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From February 1 to March 1, she is busy liking, sharing, and discussing. I trust her, I trust myself, and I trust the universe. I’ll provide the updates for you here and on social media using the hashtag #sixdegreesofdating. And if you feel so inclined, feel free to get to liking, sharing, and tagging yourself!

Have your ever participated in a social experiment? Would you want to?