As a Christian Single, I #DateDifferently

 

Two conversations with two different friends – one a man, the other a woman – held at two different times but were about the same topic. They both wanted to talk to me (of all people) about dating and the future and singlehood and the one and “How will we know?”

My answer was the same to all of the questions. “I have no clue.” In one case, I may have gotten even a little nervous and jumpy and asked, “Wait…what? You want to ask me my thoughts on dating? Really? Are you sure?”

Part of the reason I become uncomfortable talking about dating is I look at it completely differently than I did in the past. In total transparency, I look at it completely differently than a lot of my friends. My Christian friends.

It’s hard to navigate the world of dating in our over-sexualized, want-it-now, digital society.

When I become transparent about my thoughts on dating and think about the mistakes I’ve made in the past when it comes to dating, I realize that many of the single people I know are approaching dating through the societal lenses colored by movies and fairy tales.

In order for us to get different results, we have to have a different approach. Different actions require different thoughts.

Even when it feels like everyone we know is sleeping together, doing everything but sleeping together, living together, Netflix and chilling, and hooking up because it’s cuffing season. Continue reading

What I’ve Learned From Getting Dumped

Last month, for the first time ever in the history of having a cell phone,  I blocked someone. The person was not harassing me or stalking me, and we didn’t have a big argument. We weren’t really even friends. Acquaintances maybe, but even that’s a stretch. We also didn’t talk really frequently, which is why I never thought to block him before.

I blocked him because his narcissistic personality is not something I want in my circle of influence.

You see, once upon a time we were close. We were really good friends. We became involved romantically, and we talked about spending the rest of our lives together. Until the relationship ended abruptly.

Because he dumped me.  Continue reading